- I understand everyone’s life except my own. Isn’t that how it always goes?

I’ve grown, and I've changed. I’ve given chances and have been taken for granted. I’ve lived, but I haven’t finished. I’ve succeeded and failed miserably. But have I really? Is life just one big party that I am missing out on? Or is it a balance as I presume it is? 


It's funny, how everything and nothing has changed. Drama will still occur. Tears will still fall. Friendships will come and go. Love can sometimes be overrated and movies just give a false pretence of what it’s all about. Cinderella does exist it just depends on who your inner Cinderella is. 

Music, REAL music is not always played with an instrument or in a voice. Music is the beat of your life. It is an expression of your inner self the best way you can express it.  EVERYONE has their own music

creative

HAPPY SINGLES AWARENESS DAY!!!!

       In my opinion valintines day is a very selfish holiday. It's only made for those who have someone to like or maybe even love. But since i have no one *which isnt a bad thing at my age* i have made a new holiday on this lovely day which consintrates on those losers (like myself) who are sitting on their ass in front of a computer updateing their journal or doing homework instead of out to din din with a boy or girl ,hence singles awareness day.
       This is a time to appriciate and love yourself and know that your not as alone or "lonely" as you think. I have had my soft cry that occures on this day every year for the past 17 years and have moved on. I am no longer sad but content with my singleness and have accepted this bitter sweet reality and have embrased it with open arms. I my friends am happy that i am free, although yes i would accept those who were willing to have me, but i dont need that. I my friends am fine on my own and dont need another on this day. So for everyone out there who isnt on a date or has a boyfriend just remember you are not alone out there my friend you got me.

        On another note this next monday, presidents day, alina, alexandra and I will be going to the beach. Although the water will be freezing, from the past months being so cold, we are going to tan and have lunch on the beach ... if you are willing to come please post on my or alina's journal or call me at 305-298-299* if you wana get in touch with me you will figuer out the last digit the hard way.

content

 well im here at FIU (like always) drowning in my mysery cuz im the only one not at the Dashboard concert! but its ok alina will be sure to take alot of crotch pix of them for me!!! enough of that ... i feel bad .... kinda like puking my life away! w.e thats ok ... imma suck it up and take it like a grown up.

Beach tommorow!!!!!!!

we meet up at my house... at 10 a.m. (early but its the only way to go and get a good time there)

for more info. call 786-262-1158 (more info. being my addi.!)

hopeing to see you there

cold

SUMMER IS ALMOST HERE!!!

As you all know i havent really written in my LJ in a long ass time :( that is schools fault and that my comp. at home dosnt work so i am currently using FIU's fasilitys .... if you have to be a college student here to use it i dono but i have been pulling it off like a G... Well just to fill you in ... i got a job at the original pancake house on 115 and kendal... so visit me sometime... i am the hostest so dont hope that you get me to serve on your hand and foot ... you would be wearing your food and not eatting it ;) JUST KIDDING!

Well if there are any partys starting tommorow night please call me and tell me the 411.... me and my other half are in dire need of a party (filled with drunken hott men)

POST IF YOUR GAME FOR FRIDAY AT THE BEACH OR POST IF YOUR NOT TOO

ecstatic

BEACH!!!!
FRIDAY!!!
TIME: to be determinded

For mor info call 786-262-1158

Today was LAX!:

Well what happen was that a bunch of people were suposed to go to the beach with me alina cj and stifler ... ok so it ended up being just us ... thats cool. It was relaxing and my friend had an awsome time ;) i love you alina... But i felt like i was missing something ... like i was thinking i wanted to be thrown in the water too and i wanted to be flirted with.... What ever it was fun either way. My face is burnt  but i can stand it. Im going to leave you with certain thoughts of mine:

"I shouldnt be doing this... It's just wrong"

"Why does God tease me so "

"It feels so wrong but yet so right "

"I should just give up on life in general... i have no reason to stick around."

"I want to be a vet when i grow up[to much time and memorization]"

"Boys are stupid... we should throw rocks at them"

"Why is it that i want to cry sometimes at random"

"Man who lied to me when they said i could sing"

"I hope that i can find someone that is MY KIA![compact in size but with a heart of and SUV]"

"If only people understood my humer"

confused

Tonight was fun:
-went to dadeland with the best friend
-then went to sunset for like 30 min. *not that bad*
-went to starbucks *expresso shot*wiered
-went to lil caesars (got so red from anger by remembering alinas rocker stage)

-Went to st. Paul and froliced on the feilds at 11:15pm it was funner then it sounds
-Got home and cacci gave me a bottie call *im classier then that shit dont insult me!!!*

awake

I AM TOO UPSET TO EVER EXPLAIN THE FULL REASON WHY.

"EVERYTHING ALWAYS HAPPENS FOR A REASON" IS WHAT I KEEP TELLING MYSELF. BUT I CAN NEVER SEE WHY THIS ALWAYS HAS TO HAPPEN.

YOU CAN'T GIVE FEELINGS TO SOMEONE WITH NO HEART.

THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS LOVE AND HAPPINESS WITH OUT HEARTACHE AND DECITEFULLNESS

THE MORE I LIVE LIFE. THE MORE TIME IT WILL TAKE ME TO GIVE MY HEART AWAY. THE MORE PAIN AND SUFFERING I GO THROUGH . THE MORE I DONT WANT TO LET SOMEONE HAVE ME AT A VOLNERABLE STATE.

I need something else in my life.

angry

****MONDAY****

well as you all know [well all the sabers at least] I didnt go to school today. I really wanted to but my brother left me here [because he had to pick up some lourds girl after school and he didnt wana bother with me and my sick ass] and my mom didnt want to take me late so yea. Now if your questioning why i love to go to school when im sick its because... [alina you know why] I like to cough on people i dont like and spred the "love" around. Harsh but true. See because when your good and healthy again you get to enjoy school time even more because they [people you dont like] arent there.

ANSWER THE FOLLOWING QUESTIONS:

- What is your fav. color?
- What is your fav. food?
- What is your dream car?
- What is your fav. candy?
- What is your fav. icecream flavor?
- What is your fav. resterant?
- What is your fav. movie?
- What is your fav. animal? [be specific (breed)]

[LATER ON]

Im stressing now cuz i just got my progress report [or at least my mom did] and im failing 3 sub. . OK i wana cry!!! Religon, History, and Spanish. I need to stop fucking around and get seriouse about school. Because the only thing i got going for me is school.

sick